Sarah and Jenny or Jenny and Sarah
When I was a little girl, I was the only kid on the block who did not have a grandmother or grandfather. All of my little friends had these folks who loved and adored them, but I did not. However, I pretended that my father’s two sisters who had no children of their own were my grandmothers.
This is how I presented them to my friends. My friend Myra said that those two could not be my grandmoms because they lived together in a small apartment near our elementary school. After school I would walk with Myra to these aunts’ apartment because my mom was working and she did not get home to about an hour after school let out. So Myra who lived near my two aunts and I would walk with each other at three fifteen o’clock p.m. When mom arrived home, she would come and pick me up and we would walk from Aunt Sarah and Aunt Jenny’s where I had gone after school to our own home about six blocks away. One day a week, Mom shopped at a day old bakery to get baked goods and breads for the coming week at a discounted price. On that day, my brother Herbert who was five years older than me would come and pick me up at the two aunt’s house and he and I would walk to our home.
One day, Myra who was very out going and a little obnoxious deliberately tried to pry from me that these two oldsters were not my grandmother. Her rationale which was a very good one was that you cannot have two ladies living together to be my grandmothers.That was not normal or the norm. I insisted that Sarah and Jenny or as Myra like to refer to them as Jenny and Sarah were really related to me and surely were my grand mothers. Now Myra had two grandmothers, one in Baltimore,Maryland where we lived and one in Toronto, Canada where her dad’s mom lived. So Myra had two grandmothers and they lived apart because they were not related to each, just to Myra.
I tried very hard to convince Myra that my story was an honest one and that they liked each so much that they lived with each other and knew each other because they shared a grandson-Herbert and a granddaughter Elita, me. I liked to write stories and reviews of children’s novels in those days and I convinced Myra that my "story" of Sarah and Jenny or Jenny and Sarah was a true one and really a thing of convenience for the two old gals because neither had husbands and neither had lots of money. So therefore, by living together they had companionship, saved rent and electricity and heat and they shared me-their prized granddaughter and the love of their lives.
One day Myra said could she come with me and stay after school with me at their house because her mom had something to do and would not be home. I said yes and brought Myra into the apartment and introduced her to the two old ladies. Myra took one look at them and said " I bet you two are sisters. You look alike." I had not had time to warn the two "grandmothers" that Myra was suspicious of me and my story about them. Sarah who was the sweeter of the two and very gentle, I loved her so much for her gentleness with me realized that I must have told Myra a story on their relationship. She replied "oh that is funny; several times people have said we resemble each other.. How can that be since we are not related other than being Elita’s grandmoms." Myra looked at the old gal and in her knowing voice replied that surely their living together is really not the usual thing. Jenny piped in, she being the aggressive and stuck up personality of the two and said "my dear little girl, we are her grandmoms, I am her father’s mother and this other lady is her mom’s mother..We live together because we cannot afford to live individually because our husbands have passed on and we have not much of an income and this is the best for us. Then seeing our beloved Elita every day is also a wonderful and happy time for us."
Myra looked quizzically at the two old gals (my father was about twenty years younger than these two older sisters) and said well o.k. this is unusual, but I guess it could be.
From that day on Myra never questioned my relationship as granddaughter to these two old ladies. One day, she said to me that she guesses I was lucky because when I visited them, I got a two for one visit and many times they would sew these satin pouches with a drawstring and insert pennies, about ten of them and give them to me to buy something that I would not normally have. I loved these two old gals and never forgot that they reassured Myra that Elita was telling the truth.
They both passed away within a few years of each other and when I had a little girl of my own, true to the Jewish religion of naming a baby after a beloved and deceased relative, I named my firstborn, a daughter-Sharon for Sarah and Joy for Jenny. I loved these two old "grandmothers" and so I honored them in this naming. When Sharon Joy was about six years old, Herbert, my brother asked me who I named her after and I told him this story. He was quite impressed how I remembered them and honored them so they would always be in my thoughts and heart.
So Myra, wherever you are, these many years later, this is the truth. Sarah and Jenny or Jenny and Sarah were really my beloved aunts. You were right, they were not my grandmothers, but I could not have loved them any more if they had been. They were my "GRAND (IN THE REAL SENSE) AUNTS. So Jenny and Sarah live on in my memory and in my daughter’s name and even though Myra in her heart knew that she was right and that I was not telling the truth, she as a young girl could see the love these two old gals had for this youngster and she no longer questioned the story. She was wise enough in her young years to see that her friend, Elita loved these two old ladies and whether they were her grandmothers or aunts, that there was a true and loving bond between them and the young girl.
Elita Sohmer Clayman
November 2005
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Monday, June 28, 2010
We Went to A Dance by Elita Sohmer Clayman
We had a victory last night. We went to a studio dance after not having danced for over 26 months. This was due to being in an accident two years ago.So we did not dance at all for that length of time.
Wow, how wonderful to be there at a gorgeous studio named Promenade. Rightly named because it is a promenade of a place. We stayed for 2 hours and danced 4 dances which was fine for going back for the first time in a long time.
How wonderful to be there and to be part of a dance community and especially at our senior ages 76 and 80. Up to the accident where a man was texting and hit us and the car hard, we had danced weekly on Sundays, had fun, had exercise and wonderful for our hearts and soul.
To be back was a dream come through for me. I in the two years imagined many times the feeling I would have upon returning and performing my beloved hobby of over 33 years-that of dancing.
Today I feel whole, well, happy and that I accomplished something extraordinary. I did, I became a ballroom dancer once again.
Wow, how wonderful to be there at a gorgeous studio named Promenade. Rightly named because it is a promenade of a place. We stayed for 2 hours and danced 4 dances which was fine for going back for the first time in a long time.
How wonderful to be there and to be part of a dance community and especially at our senior ages 76 and 80. Up to the accident where a man was texting and hit us and the car hard, we had danced weekly on Sundays, had fun, had exercise and wonderful for our hearts and soul.
To be back was a dream come through for me. I in the two years imagined many times the feeling I would have upon returning and performing my beloved hobby of over 33 years-that of dancing.
Today I feel whole, well, happy and that I accomplished something extraordinary. I did, I became a ballroom dancer once again.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Seniors Go Out and Dance Regardless of Age
Let's Do It
Aloha Elita,
Mary and I have just returned from the islands and are still getting all the beach sand out of our shoes. We sent you a couple of cards from Kauai and Honolulu; hope that you received them.
Well, the purpose of our trip was to share the beauty of the dance with some under served recipients and stimulate with interactive wellness oriented activities which we called "The Diversity of the Dance". Attached are several pictures and an email we received from one of the facilities.
Our dancing features included Swing, Tango, Waltz, Cha/Cha, Flamenco and a Hawaiian Hula all complimented with original costumes. We always invite the audience to dance with us in their minds; men with Mary and the women with me. The interactive selections included "Doctor, oh Doctor" which emphasized the importance of getting all your questions answered by the doctor, positive attitudes and it's never too late to start a movement program; an example of which was a tap dancing routine to Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy; wow!
Another skit was a Fred and Ginger routine from the movie Swing Time where Fred is trying to learn to dance and slips, struggles and eventually falls down. Our emphasis was the song, "pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again". In life we must continue to address this and so this was a funny reminder. Glenn Miller was the most popular big band in the band surveys that we conducted so his band was used to initiate a movement activity. The groups were broken down to rhythm section, trumpets, trombones and sax sections "playing" The Saint Louis Blues March. I became Glenn and conducted the number giving each sections solos; it was very popular and all I could see as the leader were laughing, joyful and young faces. It is so easy to move when we are having fun!
We did 12 presentations and many ballroom lessons at nursing and retirement facilities, senior centers and one Alzheimer unit. My partner Mary did all the design and made all the costumes that were used for this program and all the choreography for the dance numbers; such a talented lady!
Since this was the 25th year of our outreach programs, we will think carefully about whether we will try again; oh heck why not?
Best regards,
Mary Petersen and Steven Behr
Above statement from Mary and Steve both seniors and both active in promoting dancing where they live in Washington State. What Mary and Steve accomplish is far and above what many seniors would even attempt at their ages. Many seniors give up doing marvelous things when they hit seniordom as I named it. We cannot give up else we become old people and old people are what we thought our parents and grandparents were when we were young.
Seniors now days dance, drive, do and do more. Many volunteer their time helping needy kids to learn to read and to learn to love reading. Many seniors still work out of necessity and do their jobs well. Many like Rene and I write and try to encourage everyone to dance. Rene writes and manages a glorious website, what you are reading this on now. I write to embolden us 'old folks' to go out and do it. When we were teens and a bit older, 'do it' meant something else, even in those times before the so called sexual revolution. Rene also teaches dance and shows us oldsters that dance can enhance our lives. Rene is a glorious senior and proud to be one. So am I.
I love angels. Now I know there are no real ones but it is still nice to imagine that one looks over our shoulders and helps us to cope, to succeed and to be healthy as we can. I made up an expression. This is it. There are angels with golden hands. There are angels with golden feet and there are angels with golden words. I complimented my hair stylist (formerly known as hairdressers) and told her when she finished doing my hair yesterday and it looked especially wonderful, that she was an angel with golden hands. Her eyes teared up and she thanked me and said no one ever said that.
So we who dance have golden feet (even though many of us have hammertoes, bunions and etc from dancing) and it is well worth the fantastic times we have dancing. We who write and express our self about our dear dancing desires and devotion are angels with golden words.
People like Steven and Mary are golden seniors when they go to Hawaii and present dancing shows to people who may never have had the experience of viewing a dancing exhibition or even to learn a few steps.
Let us all become golden seniors ( as my columns have been called for over twenty years.) We will remain golden folks and show other people that seniors are alive, well, happy, healthy and delightful. LET'S DO IT AND I MEAN DANCE!!!!!
Elita Sohmer Clayman
June 2010
You can email me at
elitajerrydancing@verizon.net
Aloha Elita,
Mary and I have just returned from the islands and are still getting all the beach sand out of our shoes. We sent you a couple of cards from Kauai and Honolulu; hope that you received them.
Well, the purpose of our trip was to share the beauty of the dance with some under served recipients and stimulate with interactive wellness oriented activities which we called "The Diversity of the Dance". Attached are several pictures and an email we received from one of the facilities.
Our dancing features included Swing, Tango, Waltz, Cha/Cha, Flamenco and a Hawaiian Hula all complimented with original costumes. We always invite the audience to dance with us in their minds; men with Mary and the women with me. The interactive selections included "Doctor, oh Doctor" which emphasized the importance of getting all your questions answered by the doctor, positive attitudes and it's never too late to start a movement program; an example of which was a tap dancing routine to Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy; wow!
Another skit was a Fred and Ginger routine from the movie Swing Time where Fred is trying to learn to dance and slips, struggles and eventually falls down. Our emphasis was the song, "pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again". In life we must continue to address this and so this was a funny reminder. Glenn Miller was the most popular big band in the band surveys that we conducted so his band was used to initiate a movement activity. The groups were broken down to rhythm section, trumpets, trombones and sax sections "playing" The Saint Louis Blues March. I became Glenn and conducted the number giving each sections solos; it was very popular and all I could see as the leader were laughing, joyful and young faces. It is so easy to move when we are having fun!
We did 12 presentations and many ballroom lessons at nursing and retirement facilities, senior centers and one Alzheimer unit. My partner Mary did all the design and made all the costumes that were used for this program and all the choreography for the dance numbers; such a talented lady!
Since this was the 25th year of our outreach programs, we will think carefully about whether we will try again; oh heck why not?
Best regards,
Mary Petersen and Steven Behr
Above statement from Mary and Steve both seniors and both active in promoting dancing where they live in Washington State. What Mary and Steve accomplish is far and above what many seniors would even attempt at their ages. Many seniors give up doing marvelous things when they hit seniordom as I named it. We cannot give up else we become old people and old people are what we thought our parents and grandparents were when we were young.
Seniors now days dance, drive, do and do more. Many volunteer their time helping needy kids to learn to read and to learn to love reading. Many seniors still work out of necessity and do their jobs well. Many like Rene and I write and try to encourage everyone to dance. Rene writes and manages a glorious website, what you are reading this on now. I write to embolden us 'old folks' to go out and do it. When we were teens and a bit older, 'do it' meant something else, even in those times before the so called sexual revolution. Rene also teaches dance and shows us oldsters that dance can enhance our lives. Rene is a glorious senior and proud to be one. So am I.
I love angels. Now I know there are no real ones but it is still nice to imagine that one looks over our shoulders and helps us to cope, to succeed and to be healthy as we can. I made up an expression. This is it. There are angels with golden hands. There are angels with golden feet and there are angels with golden words. I complimented my hair stylist (formerly known as hairdressers) and told her when she finished doing my hair yesterday and it looked especially wonderful, that she was an angel with golden hands. Her eyes teared up and she thanked me and said no one ever said that.
So we who dance have golden feet (even though many of us have hammertoes, bunions and etc from dancing) and it is well worth the fantastic times we have dancing. We who write and express our self about our dear dancing desires and devotion are angels with golden words.
People like Steven and Mary are golden seniors when they go to Hawaii and present dancing shows to people who may never have had the experience of viewing a dancing exhibition or even to learn a few steps.
Let us all become golden seniors ( as my columns have been called for over twenty years.) We will remain golden folks and show other people that seniors are alive, well, happy, healthy and delightful. LET'S DO IT AND I MEAN DANCE!!!!!
Elita Sohmer Clayman
June 2010
You can email me at
elitajerrydancing@verizon.net
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)